Monday, April 23, 2012

Scotch Broom - The Last(?) Deleted Scene

The last large chunk lobotomized from Scotch Broom involved an additional character. She bit the dust when I really didn't have anything else I could do with her. People shouldn't just show up for no good reason then disappear without having moved the plot forward at least an inch or two.

When Kat reaches Da Skerries in the Shetlands to stay overnight with the Angstrom family, I gave the Angstrom's a daughter. Daphne has the ability to communicate with non-humans whether animal or magic ultralight. I thought she might come back into the story later, but nothing developed for her, so, poor girl, she had to be excised.

The Scene as It Appears in the Final Version:

After dinner, Kat asked, “Is there someplace covered where Spirit can stay while I’m in England?”

“I’ve just the thing, lass.” Nils led Kat outside and helped her store Spirit in a lean-to shed by the side of the house.

“I’ll be back to get you in the spring,” she assured the little plane.

Brrrrrrmmnnnnnn grnnnm.”

“I’ll miss you, too.”

When darkness fell, she talked with Nils and Maureen, asking them what they knew of the trows.

“Ah, da guid folk! It’s important to be polite to the trows and speak of them kindly. They can create the mischief if ye don’t. On the whole, though, they be good neighbors.”


The Scene Before Killing Off Daphne:
(Daphne appears when Kat arrives, but doesn't say anything)

After dinner, which surprised Katya because it wasn’t so bad after all, Daphne led her outside to where Spirit sat. “Is there someplace covered where Spirit can stay while I’m in England?”

The quiet girl pointed to a lean-to shed by the side of the house. Katya and Daphne pushed Spirit to the shed, and Katya folded Spirit’s wings up. Daphne seemed interested, so Katya showed her how to raise and lower the wings and explained how the ultralight flew by magic.

Daphne pointed at herself, then to Spirit, then to the sky. Katya nodded. “If your parents say it’s all right. How about you, Spirit? Would it be okay for Daphne to take a flight?”

Brrrrrrmmnnnnnn grnnnm.

“He says that’d be fine with him.”

“I know,” Daphne spoke the first words Katya had heard from her.

“Great! You understand him, so that’s even better. Some people don’t. I hope your parents agree. Spirit would like some company.”

When asked for permission, Mr. Angstrom pondered for a moment, then okayed Daphne flying. “So long as the weather’s quiet. You dinnae go out without me or yer mum knowin’.” Daphne nodded.

Katya wondered whether Daphne was quiet to make up for her mother being so loud. She seemed a sweet girl, and smart as well. After getting permission from Spirit for the extra weight, Katya doubled up with her. They took a brief flight at a low altitude while Katya demonstrated the controls. Daphne caught on quickly, and flew them round for a couple of touch-and-goes. Katya was happy that Spirit would be in good hands.

When darkness fell, she talked with Nils and Maureen, asking them what they knew of the trows.

“Ah, da guid folk! It’s important to be polite to the trows and speak of them kindly. They can create the mischief if you don’t. On the whole, though, they be good neighbors.”
 
******
 
I would have liked to keep Daphne, but cooler heads prevailed. Poor girl. Barely got on stage, before her part was cut.

SCOTCH BROOM: Book 3 of The Witches of Galdorheim
A magical trip to Stonehenge lands a witch in the Otherworld where an ancient goddess is up to no good.

Marva Dasef: https://sites.google.com/site/mdasefauthor/books/galdorheim
MuseItUp Buy Link: http://tinyurl.com/ScotchBroomMGD
Kindle Buy Link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007ROH46K/
Scotch Broom Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYnRmbvPp7Q

Kat expects to have a great time on her graduation trip to Stonehenge. However, from the moment she leaves the witches’ arctic island, Galdorheim, she gets in nothing but trouble. Her younger half-brother tries to horn in on her trip, she gets lost in the magical Otherworld realm, is led astray by a supposed friend, then she has to confront a Scottish goddess who’s fallen on hard times.

While dodging the goddess’ minions and trying to find her way out of the Otherworld, Kat soon learns she shouldn’t underestimate the old has-been for one second; the crone still has a few tricks that can drain a witch’s magic in a flash. To make matters worse, Kat's brother secretly followed her into the Otherworld. Now he’s in danger too. Kat has to go one on one with the goddess to save herself and her brother.