Tuesday, January 28, 2020

I Can Write Creepy

Another tale for your reading pleasure. It is my desire a few of you get some goose bumps and more say or think: "Ew." All my stories are available in my collection: Mixed Bag 2: Supersized.

Mixed Bag 2: Supersized
 on Amazon  
 on Smashwords

A little science fiction, a bit of fantasy, plenty of humor, and some really shocking horror. These are tales to suit any mood. All stories in this book were previously published in on-line or print publications. The author is re-issuing the stories since an editor somewhere liked them enough to publish them in the first place.

Saturday, January 25, 2020

Happy Year of the Rat!

How appropriate to be the Year of the Rat when all the rats in the Senate are doing their damnedest to destroy our way of life. They give rats an undeserved bad reputation.

A story for your entertainment courtesy of ChineseNewYear.Net

The Monster and New Year’s Eve
In ancient times, there was a monster named Nián (年). It usually lives at the bottom of the sea and comes up once a year to feast on animals and humans. On this day, the villagers would all escape into the mountains.

Nian is a horned beast, a mix between a dragon and a kirin.

One year, a beggar came to seek shelter, but everyone was hurrying away. Only an old woman took him in and he promised to chase Nian away. He busied himself with decorating the homes.

At midnight, Nian lumbered in but stopped short when it saw the red paper on the doors. As it roared in anger, firecrackers suddenly sounded and it trembled in fear. When it saw the beggar, dressed in red, laughing at it, it could only run away.

The villagers came back the next day and were pleasantly surprised that the homes were all still standing. They realized that loud noises and the color red were Nian’s kryptonite.

This is why, on New Year’s Eve, families eat dinner in their homes fortified by red decorations. At midnight, firecrackers are sounded. In addition, people will wear new and festive red clothing to celebrate.

Thursday, January 23, 2020

Story Time Continues

This story is a departure from my usual. Then, again, I don't have a usual. I have written stories in all genres including (gasp!) romance. This isn't a romance by any definition. As with all my tales, all of them can be found in my compilation.

Mixed Bag 2: Supersized
 on Amazon  
on Smashwords

Monday, January 20, 2020

Special Price $4.99 for Compleat and True History

The compendium of the four books and one short story of Kat's adventures learning her witch powers is now available for only $4.99. If purchased individually, the entire set would cost $12.

Amazon, of course
Barnes and Noble
Scribd - This is a subscription service

The books and stories are:

BAD SPELLING (Book 1): A klutzy witch, a shaman's curse, a quest to save her family. Can Kat find her magic in time?

All of Kat’s family are either witches or warlocks, depending on their sex, of course. Kat is fourteen and really ought to be able to turn a rabbit into a toad, but things just don’t work out for her. What she gets  is a slimy green hopper. That’s the good part. Unfortunately, it also has long ears and fur. That’s bad spelling.

MIDNIGHT OIL (Book 2): Shipwrecked on a legendary island, how can a witch rescue her boyfriend if she can’t even phone home?

Kat discovers that an evil forest spirit has kidnapped her brand-new boyfriend. She sets out with her brother, Rune, from her Arctic island home on a mission to rescue the boy. Things go wrong from the start. Kat is thrown overboard during a violent storm, while her brother and his girlfriend are capant island tribe. The mutants hold the girlfriend hostage, demanding that the teens recover the only thing that can make the mutants human again–the magical Midnight Oil.

Mustering every bit of her Wiccan magic, Kat rises to the challenge. She invokes her magical skills, learns to fly an ultralight, meets a legendary sea serpent, rescues her boyfriend, and helps a friendly air spirit win the battle against her spiteful sibling. On top of it all, she’s able to recover the Midnight Oil and help the hapless mutants in the nick of time.

SCOTCH BROOM (Book 3): A magical trip to Stonehenge lands a witch in the Otherworld where an ancient goddess is up to no good.

Kat expects to have a great time on her graduation trip to Stonehenge. However, from the moment she leaves the witches’ arctic island, Galdorheim, she gets in nothing but trouble. Her younger half-brother tries to horn in on her trip, she gets lost in the magical Otherworld realm, is led astray by a supposed friend, then she has to confront a Scottish goddess who’s fallen on hard times.

While dodging the goddess’s minions and trying to find her way out of the Otherworld, Kat soon learns she shouldn’t underestimate the old has-been for one second; the crone still has a few tricks that can drain a witch’s magic in a flash. To make matters worse, Kat's brother secretly followed her into the Otherworld. Now he’s in danger, too. Kat has to go one on one with the goddess to save herself and her brother.

BLOOD TIES TESTED (Book 4): Written by popular demand of readers who want to know what happens to Rune after the Book 3 conclusion. Unfortunate events lead a half vampire boy into indulging his vampire side, leaving him with regret and sadness. Can dear old Dad help him forgive himself?

Following the events in the series Witches of Galdorheim, this additional tale relates what happens to Katrina the Witch's younger brother, Rune. Half vampire and half warlock, he faces life with a wisecrack and some powerful magic. Whatever happens, he does not want to be a vampire like his father. Unfortunate events lead him to fatally call on his vampire half. This failure leaves him in anguish. How can he assuage the guilt he feels? His mother thinks he needs to visit dead old dad, a vampire residing in the Tatras Mountains of Slovakia.

SPELLSLINGER (Prequel Short Story): Written by popular demand of readers who adore Kat's smart-aleck brother. It's a short story prequel to the Witches series is dedicated to Kat's brother, Rune. A super speller, he's plagued with his half vampire heritage. This story gives a bit more of his trials growing up on the Witches' Island.

Thursday, January 16, 2020

A Bit of Dystopian Colonization

Included in my short story collection, Mixed Bag: Supersized, this tale is set in the far future when new colonies were sought out for the overflow of earth's population. Check it out either on Amazon or Smashwords. Or just read my other stories on Wattpad.

Mixed Bag 2: Supersized on Amazon  on Smashwords

Sunday, January 12, 2020

Here Be Another Story

I've posted a lot of my stories on Wattpad. A few were never submitted for publication, but all of my stories are included in two anthologies. Mixed Bag 1 is G-rated. Mixed Bag 2 is R-rated with the addition of stories not fit for delicate sensibilities. Both anthologies are available at Amazon and Smashwords for real cheap or you can just go to Wattpad and read a few I like best.
Mixed Bag 1 on Amazon, on Smashwords
Mixed Bag 2: Supersized on Amazon  on Smashwords

Tuesday, January 07, 2020

Tales of Abu Nuwas - Faizah's Destiny Book Trailer

The gods are at war, and only a farmer's daughter can save the world from Armageddon.
Audio Book on Audible.com - Start your free trial of audible and get this book free as well. OR email me and win a promo code to get this audio book free on Audible. Promo codes available in the US and UK markets.
UK link  France link  German link
Amazon along with the ebook and print editions.

The village magician has gone missing. His four pupils think he has left a clue to his whereabouts in the Magicalis Bestialis, the book of magical creatures. They must seek the help of the elusive Simurgh, the mythical bird who know all the secrets of the universe. However, this is not an easy camping trip into the mountains. Spirits, gods, and demons confront the four friends, who are not aware they're being set up by otherworldly forces for a much larger task. Faizah, a farmer's daughter, is chosen to lead the humans in the battle. She must persuade a slave, an orphan, and a rich merchant's son to join in the battle on the side of good. Although divided by Dev, the evil god of war, the teens must band together to find the Simurgh, rescue their teacher, and stave off Armageddon.

Thursday, January 02, 2020

Sunday, December 22, 2019

Seasonal Thoughts

I saw a post the other day in which the author (and the re-poster) believed they were opening their arms to the world in celebration of the turn from Winter to Spring. I've used their "talking points" to make my own list for the Season. Take it or leave it.

OK Folks, Let's get this straightened out...
  • Santa is a mythical character based on a variety of legends and fairy tales. 
  • "Baby, It's Cold Outside" could be considered offensive by any person held against their will.
  • Candy canes are canes, with no relationship to the Hebrew Y in Yeshua.
  • We say anything pertaining to our reason for the season. After all, there are 6 billion non-Christians in the world.
  • Children should get to decorate their classrooms in their seasonally appropriate decorations of the creed or culture.
  • There were 3 wise men, but 3 wise women would have brought nappies, a casserole, and a warm blanket.
  • Babies Yashua, Mithra, Tammuz, Adonis, Attis, and Osiris all claimed the same virgin birth and rising from death stories.
  • Mommy was probably not kissing a mythological being (see above), but either her husband or lover. The song does not specify.
  • Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, being a creature pulling a mythical conveyance by a mythical being is best sung by Burl Ives.
  • Stop turning the holidays into a political bludgeon to claim discrimination with such nonsense as a war on Christmas.
  • Let kids be kids. Let kids not be told they're bad if they are Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or any other cultural religion and don't believe in the Germanic Jul traditions.
  • This is one of the MANY times of the year we should all be nicer to each other and forget everything that tears us apart from our one great commonality: being human.
  • You can say Merry Christmas or Happy Hanakkuh, or any other greeting you want, including just Happy Holidays or Bah Humbug.
Okay. Make my holiday a happy one by buying one or more of my books in ebook, print, or audio. 

Everything I offer is on Amazon. Check my Author Page.

All my audio books are not only on Amazon, but also Audible and iTunes.

All my ebooks are available in multiple formats through Smashwords. Note that Smashwords is having a site-wide sale where lots of authors are discounting their ebooks for post-Christmas.

Saturday, December 21, 2019

Happy Everybody's HOLIDAY!

Tis the season, as they say. Say what? Yeah, I made up that combo-holiday greeting. Covers just about everything celebratory throughout the winter doldrums. So, no matter what persuasion you follow, there's got to be something to brighten the soggy/cold season.

Milad-un-Nabi: November 9th-10th is Muhammad's Birthday celebration. A bit too early for this post, but it's also a winter holiday and needs mention along with all the others. The holiday is celebrated by exchanging gifts and giving to the poor.

YuleA Norse mid-winter celebration of the turning of the days from shorter to longer. Yay, we made it halfway through winter! Woot! Of course, the word gave us the tradition of the Yule log, a big chunk of wood burned in the fireplace and something large and meaty being roasted over said fire. It originated from the mid-winter celebrations (see Saturnalia) and applied to the Wild Hunt and Odin. We can blame King Haakon I for deliberately co-opting a perfectly good pagan celebration and dedicating it to the fictitious birth of Christ. That was a big miss regarding seasons since everybody knows shepherds watch their flocks at night only in the Spring and Summer, certainly not in the dead of winter. Skoal to Odin or Jölföðr. See how this alternative name for the Norse god being applied to the celebration?

Saturnalia: The Romans liked mid-winter to celebrate something, so Saturn got the festival. This one was usurped for the Christmas myth. Don't get all twisted. Christmas is not a celebration for Jesus. It's a way to get the Pagans to sign up.

Besides Saturn, other pagan dieties are celebrated for much the same reason. Mithra, Horus, Zeus, even Hercules. Christians didn't steal the celebration until 400 AD. Historical accounts have Christ born in the spring, but that would have interfered with the theft of Oestra, the spring festival of fertility.

Pancha Ganapati: The Hindu solstice celebration lasts five days - December 21st to 25th (the Hindus really know how to party). The celebration is in honor of the elephant god Ganesha, who is the patron of arts and guardian of culture. Each day is celebrated by a different color which have special meanings for Ganesha. Golden Yellow creates a vibration of love and harmony within the family, Royal Blue for love and harmony between neighbors and friends, Ruby Red for harmony with business associates, Emerald Green celebrates art and culture, and the last day (which happens to be December 25th) is Brilliant Orange for love and harmony for all. The holiday is celebrated with lights and tinsel, but with a nice picture of Lord Ganesh rather than a tree.

Hanakkuh: This year, the beginning of Hanakkuh falls on December 22nd. What a perfect time for the Festival of Lights for those of the Judaic persuasion. Since the Jewish calendar is based on different dates than the western one, liberal Jews can have their Hanakkuh, and still celebrate Christmas and Kwanzaa with their friends. Anyone want a convertible hanakkuh bush? Everybody can party like it's 5775.

Kwanzaa: Created in 1966, Kwanzaa was made up by a California
guy to highlight African-american culture is on December 26th (like the British Boxing Day). Cool thought, but I'd just as soon we'd say: "What? Obama is black? Wow, I didn't know that." Keeping separate ensures separateness. Hey! Doesn't that look like a Menorah?

More recently, Kwanzaa is celebrated in conjunction with Christmas since many African-Americans are Christian. I suppose those of the Muslim faith can also celebrate Kwanzaa since the major winter holy day for Muslims was way back in November.

Christmas: A usurpation of the mid-winter Saturnalia Festival and Jule. St. Patrick was big on keeping the frolicking holidays, but bending them to his own purpose. Historical records seem to place the actual birth of Jesus in March or April. Facts don't get in the way of the commercial spending binge. All hail the Almighty (dollar/euro/pound/yen).

The big bruhaha every year in the US was all the stores who decided that Thanksgiving was a great day for their employees to not be with their family in a celebration of thanksgiving. So, they opened their doors and let the crowds rush in. Christians don't have to worry about atheists having some pretend war on Christmas. Christians are their own worst enemies. Ask the Pope.

Atheist/Agnostic/Pastafarian: The godless like holidays as much as the next person. They just don't have an official date for the FSM's birth celebration. FSM, you ask? Flying Spaghetti Monster has become the avatar for folks that think the FSM is just as realistic as any other god.

So, whatever you celebrate around this time of year, enjoy, be happy, and don't drink too much then drive around endangering others. Stay home and get smashed.

Friday, December 20, 2019

Holiday Greetings in Various Languages

Here are the languages cobbled together in some cases to wish holiday greetings. Translate them to see if any other countries have a war on (gasp!) Saturnalia. I mean Christmas, which was, of course, nowhere near the Jesus's birthdate. Do you think shepherd's watch their flocks at night during spring lambing. Sheesh. How about somebody actually figuring out the historical Jesus was born in March or April.
  1. Glædelig Jul og Godt Nytår!  Danish
  2. Feliz Navidad y Próspero Año Nuevo! , Spanish
  3. Schéi Feierdeeg an e Gudde Neit Joer!  Luxembourgish
  4. Eguberri eta Urteberri On! Basque
  5. Meli Hollidei Mich Saehae Bog Manh-i Bad-euseyo! Korean
  6. Na Laethanta Saoire Merry Agus an Bhliain Nua Shona!  Irish
  7. Limnandi Zeeholide Kunye NoNyaka Omtsha Onoyolo! Xhosa
  8. Veseli Praznitsi i Chestita Nova Godina!  Bulgarian
  9. Aleatalat Milad Saeid Wasanat Jadidat Saeida! Arabic
  10. Mafaro Mazororo uye Nyaya Itsva Inofara! Shona
  11. Shwinlaann Saw Aarrlautraat Myarr Nhaint Main g Lar Nhaitsait! Burmese
  12. Leholo Tsa Phomolo le Selemo se Secha se Thabile! Southern Sotho
  13. Lebedik Holidays aun Mzl Niu Yar! Yiddish
  14. Meera Chhuttiyaan aur Naya Saal Mbaarak Ho! Hindi
  15. Merry Holidays and Happy New Year!  English
  16. HAPPY SATCHRPANGANHANKWANASH!  Language: Short-hand for the holidays Saturnalia, Christmas, Panga Ganapi, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Ashura. 
Interested in reading any of my zany books? Find them all on my Amazon Author Page.