January Restores Sanity to the House

Political post, just so's you know.

When the House members are sworn in on January 3rd (HAPPY NEW USA), they will be able to keep Mueller at post investigating the Trump Crime Cartel. I hope the have the guts to go after them pincer and tong. The Republicans have overseen the destruction of the country by giving into the obviously insane and demented Trump.

So, all I can say is that I HOPE the Democrats play every card they have to stop Trump's raging path of insanity.

You think Trump is doing okay? Then, do not read this blog. Go away and suck poisonous frogs. You are demented and do not deserve any say in the running of this country.

Okay, back to Happy New Year. I'd better see a change, a HUGE change, for the better in 2019. Trump should not be allowed to continue his destructive reign, but Dems have to double-down and get tough when they have even a modicum of control.

Let's see, what would be an appropriate graphic for this post? I kind of like Trump behind bars serving a life sentence for multiple crimes against the US and humanity.

Thoughts for the Season

I saw a post the other day in which the author (and the re-poster) believed they were opening their arms to the world in celebration of the turn from Winter to Spring. I've used their "talking points" to make my own list for the Season. Take it or leave it.

OK Folks, Let's get this straightened out...

• Santa is a mythical character based on a variety of legends and fairy tales. 
• "Baby, It's Cold Outside" could be considered offensive by any person held against their will.
• Candy canes are canes, with no relationship to the Hebrew Y in Yeshua.
• We say anything pertaining to our reason for the season. After all, there are 6 billion non-Christians in the world.
• Children should get to decorate their classrooms in their seasonally appropriate decorations of the creed or culture.
• There were 3 wise men, but 3 wise women would have brought nappies, a casserole, and a warm blanket.
• Babies Yashua, Mithra, Tammuz, Adonis, Attis, and Osiris all claimed the same virgin birth and rising from death stories.
• Mommy was probably not kissing a mythological being (see above), but either her husband or lover. The song does not specify.
• Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, being a creature pulling a mythical conveyance by a mythical being is best sung by Burl Ives.
• Stop turning the holidays into a political bludgeon to claim discrimination with such nonsense as a war on Christmas.
• Let kids be kids. Let kids not be told they're bad if they are Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or any other cultural religion and don't believe in the Germanic Jul traditions.
• This is one of the MANY times of the year we should all be nicer to each other and forget everything that tears us apart from our one great commonality: being human.
• You can say Merry Christmas or Happy Hanakkuh, or any other greeting you want, including just Happy Holidays or Bah Humbug.

Holiday Languages Revealed

Here are the languages cobbled together in some cases to wish holiday greetings. Those who made a correct guess are listed. If you've won, but I don't have your email address to send you your audio book prize, DM me in either Facebook or G+. 

1. Glædelig Jul og Godt Nytår!  Danish
2. Feliz Navidad y Próspero Año Nuevo! , Spanish
3. Schéi Feierdeeg an e Gudde Neit Joer!  Luxembourgish
4. Eguberri eta Urteberri On! Basque
5. Meli Hollidei Mich Saehae Bog Manh-i Bad-euseyo! Korean
6. Na Laethanta Saoire Merry Agus an Bhliain Nua Shona!  Irish
7. Limnandi Zeeholide Kunye NoNyaka Omtsha Onoyolo! Xhosa
8. Veseli Praznitsi i Chestita Nova Godina!  Bulgarian
9. Aleatalat Milad Saeid Wasanat Jadidat Saeida! Arabic
10. Mafaro Mazororo uye Nyaya Itsva Inofara! Shona
11. Shwinlaann Saw Aarrlautraat Myarr Nhaint Main g Lar Nhaitsait! Burmese
12. Leholo Tsa Phomolo le Selemo se Secha se Thabile! Southern Sotho
13. Lebedik Holidays aun Mzl Niu Yar! Yiddish
14. Meera Chhuttiyaan aur Naya Saal Mbaarak Ho! Hindi
15. Merry Holidays and Happy New Year!  English
16. HAPPY SATCHRPANGANHANKWANASH!  Language: Short-hand for the holidays Saturnalia, Christmas, Panga Ganapi, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Ashura. 
17. Read all about these celebrations here.

Interested in reading any of my zany books? Find them all on my Amazon Author Page.

Happy or Merry (Word of Your Choice)

Here are some variations in several languages for expressing greetings for the holidays. Guess the language of each. Some are easy; some might not be recognized by a native speaker of the language since I had to transliterate into the English alphabet. That makes some of them pretty darned hard to figure out.

Here's the complete list of phrases. I'll fill in the languages on or after the 25th. I want everybody to have a shot at wishing others happiness and joy in many different languages. All of us, of course, speaking the human language of love. Well, most of us anyway.

1. Glædelig Jul og Godt Nytår! 
2. Feliz Navidad y Próspero Año Nuevo! 
3. Schéi Feierdeeg an e Gudde Neit Joer!
4. Eguberri eta Urteberri On!
5. Meli Hollidei Mich Saehae Bog Manh-i Bad-euseyo!
6. Na Laethanta Saoire Merry Agus an Bhliain Nua Shona!
7. Limnandi Zeeholide Kunye NoNyaka Omtsha Onoyolo!
8. Veseli Praznitsi i Chestita Nova Godina! 
9. Aleatalat Milad Saeid Wasanat Jadidat Saeida! 
10. Mafaro Mazororo uye Nyaya Itsva Inofara!
11. Shwinlaann Saw Aarrlautraat Myarr Nhaint Main g Lar Nhaitsait!
12. Leholo Tsa Phomolo le Selemo se Secha se Thabile!
13. Lebedik Holidays aun Mzl Niu Yar!
14. Meera Chhuttiyaan aur Naya Saal Mbaarak Ho!
15. Merry Holidays and Happy New Year! 
16. HAPPY SATCHRPANGANHANKWANASH!

Interested in reading any of my zany books? Find them all on my Amazon Author Page.

Fact Check: Santa Claus

Yes, I can use a movie still without
copyright notice. This is from "Bad Santa."

I know, I know. Yule (you'll--get it?) have dozens of posts related to the inception of Santa Claus, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, Pere Noel, Joulupukki (yes it is, look it up), Ded Moroz, Sinterklaas, Julenissen, and even Odin, etc. Many cite Saint Nicholas, the Greek Bishop who supposedly gave gifts to the poor. All this is set around the time of the winter solstice (also called Christmas, Solstice, Midwinter, Saturnalia, Letha, etc.).

It really doesn't make any difference since, of course, Santa is a delightful fiction for children to believe until their six or seven (some are duped for longer periods, some less).

When writing my Witches of Galdorheim series, I envisioned Santa as "that fat elf at the North Pole." the witches' complaint being that the dive bombing sleigh left reindeer manure all over their houses on the arctic island the witches made home. The result was a war between the witches and the Fat Elf until a truce was asserted.

Other than the mention of the fat elf, none of this side story made it into the series. Since I believe deeply (as much so as I believe in fairies), I wanted to resurrect this missing piece of the manuscript. It's too late to include in "Bad Spelling," since it's been published umpteen times. Still, I like it and I want to share it with you as a Holiday Gift. My writing unsullied by an editor's hands.

From the original (almost lost) text of "Bad Spelling"

The fat elf living at the North Pole flew his reindeer-driven sleigh over the island once too many times. Aunt Thordis had enough of reindeer manure sprinkling the rooftops.  The fertilizer mixed with the grain the reindeer ate sprouted a fine crop of grass on their traditional thatched roofs.  It was almost impossible to clean off.  Magic could clean up after real reindeer, but the enchanted ones left droppings that the villagers had to remove by hand.

The supposedly jolly elf just sneered at Aunt Thordis when she asked, ever so politely, if he’d take a different route. She returned to Galdorheim swearing revenge.  She got it on the next December’s flyover.  Blasting the sleigh, the elf, all nine reindeer, and a huge bag of gifts out of the sky gave the witch tremendous satisfaction.  She chased the red-suited little twerp all the way back to the North Pole and the coven got a good supply of reindeer meat.

The fat elf retaliated, of course.  He’d fly his reindeer sleigh over on the off season and encouraged them to let loose right over the village. The war escalated for several months.  Finally, each side sent emissaries to settle for peace.  Fatso (who went by a variety of aliases), promised to take a different route and not fly over the island.  Aunt Thordis promised she wouldn’t kick his fat butt to the South Pole: an equitable agreement in Thordis’s eyes.

* * *

You can get your very own copy of "Bad Spelling" and the rest of the books in the Witches of Galdorheim series. Or you can just buy "Bad Spelling" then work up from there.

COMPLETE SERIES FOR ONLY $12.64 (that's a lot of discounting)

BAD SPELLING - Book 1 of The Witches of Galdorheim Series
A klutzy witch, a shaman's curse, a quest to save her family. Can Kat find her magic in time?

In Paperback (Amazon enjoys discounting this book without telling me, but it's discounted at the time I wrote this post).
Audiobook (Also on Amazon)

Christmas Weirdness 3

Continuing the Weird Christmas Traditions for your entertainment. See the First Part here and the Second Part here.

• Latvia: A group of "mummers" travel from house to house where they are given a treat in return for their blessing. This sounds more like Halloween to me.
• Guatemala: Folks sweep out their houses and put all the dirt in a communal pile with an effigy devil on top which is then burned. This must be an "out with the evil" gesture.
• Cuba: Every December, Cuban city Remedios hosts the Parrandas Festival. The city splits in half, with each side building the biggest, baddest, fanciest light sculpture display ever. My husband does this by himself every year. No competition so far.
• Bavaria: Bavarian Highlanders dressed in lederhosen fire mortars into the air. Sure, why not? 
• Greece: The evil goblins, the Kallikantzaroi, lurk in the depths of the earth until Christmas Eve, when they spring up to create havoc. I wonder if anybody has seen this. It seems it'd be a great tourist draw.
• Slovakia: The most senior man of the house takes a spoonful of loksa pudding and flings it to the ceiling. The more that sticks, the better. What is it with weird things to do with pudding?
• Japan: Christmas cards are also a Japanese tradition, but they never ever are red. Red, of course, is the color for funerals. I suppose that means the cards could have lots of black, making them dual purpose for Halloween as well.
• Canada: The Canadian postal service recognizes the address "SANTA CLAUS, THE NORTH POLE, CANADA HO HO HO." Letters addressed this way are opened and replied to by the well-known Royal Canadian Mounted Elves.
• Finland: Holiday cards have tributes to the dearly departed. Finnish Cemeteries are lit with Christmas lights, making them a lovely sight on Christmas night.
• Iceland: The kids leave a shoe on their windowsill for the 12 Days of Christmas. Each night, some Finnish elves fill the shoes with candy and other goodies. I like the Finnish elves. They're a generous lot.
• England: Stockings are hung by the chimney with care with hopes St. Nicholas doesn't just leave a lump of coal.
• South Africa: A little rotter named Danny ate all of Santa's cookies, the legend goes. Granny wasn't happy about this and killed Danny for being a greedy little punk. This is far worse than getting a lump of coal.
• United States: In many cities, the Running of the Santas, draws a large crowd of spectators as the Santas rush from pub to bar to tavern getting as drunk as they can on the free drinks provided by the owners of the establishments. Of course, they sell a lot of drinks to the folks who want to watch the Santas get smashed.

That's all the weird stuff I have for now. If I find more, I'll most certainly add it to the lists. In the meantime, consider books as the perfect gift for any friend or member of the family.

TALES OF A TEXAS BOY is just the right present for that hard-to-shop-for older relative. Kids like it, too, but the main character's Texas drawl might be a hard read. They would like you to read it to them OR get the audio book edition and let the talented Donnie Baarns do the narration honors.

• It's nostalgic
• It doesn't have any sex (well, there is that thing with the jackass)
• It's in LARGE PRINT
• It's funny
• It's poignant
• It has lots of animals
• It's a bargain in the books section

Buy it at Amazon for only $8.99 and make everybody happy. Now isn't that a better gift than cologne? Oh, you can also get the book for your Kindle, other ereader, or for your listening pleasure in audio format. Gotcha covered for Christmas.

Amazon Kindle Ebook $2.99
Large Print Paperback $8.99 at Amazon

Regular Print Paperback $6.99 at Amazon
Audio Book also on Amazon

Little Eddie tells some almost true Tall Tales set in West Texas of the 1930s. Guess what's true and what Eddie fudged on. Was it about the bear? Cage McNatt's prize sow? The skunk in the cornpatch? Guaranteed for a chuckle and maybe a tear here and there.

Christmas Weirdness 2

Continuing the Weird Christmas Traditions for your entertainment. See the First Part here.

• Estonia: The whole family hits the sauna on Christmas Eve.
• Wales: Someone is chosen to play Mari Lywd who walks through town with the skull of a horse on a stick. I'm baffled by this one.
• Iceland: I like this one. If an Icelander doesn't get new clothes before Christmas, the killer mountain Yule cat eats them. 
• Czech Republic: Desperate for marriage it seems. Czech ladies throw a shoe over one shoulder from the door way. The direction the shoe is pointed determines if they'll be married in the coming year.
• Estonia: The whole family hits the sauna on Christmas Eve.
• Wales: Someone is chosen to play Mari Lywd who walks through town with the skull of a horse on a stick. I'm baffled by this one.
• Iceland: I like this one. If an Icelander doesn't get new clothes before Christmas, the killer mountain Yule cat eats them. 
• Sweden: Authorities in the village of Gävle decided to install a straw goat statue in the town square. Every other year, somebody burns it down before Christmas. Both are fine traditions.
• Sweden (again): Rice pudding is standard fare for dessert. The Christmas special has an almond buried somewhere in it. The lucky person who finds it will supposedly get married within a year. I assume only single folks of marrying age have a go at the pudding.
• Great Britain: Speaking of puddings, tradition calls for each member of the household to stir the pudding in a clockwise direction while making a wish. I guess that's better than a lump of coal.
• Italy: A witch named Befana is the deliverer of presents to children (not that stodgy Santa). But the kids have to wait for the blessings of Befana until January 6th.
• Ethiopia: Christian Ethiopians celebrate Christmas on January 7th. Everybody wears white and the guys play ganna, a fast pace game of ... hockey?

More weird stuff coming here in the next couple of days.

TALES OF A TEXAS BOY is just the right present for that hard-to-shop-for older relative. Kids like it, too, but the main character's Texas drawl might be a hard read. They would like you to read it to them OR get the audio book edition and let the talented Donnie Baarns do the narration honors.

• It's nostalgic
• It doesn't have any sex (well, there is that thing with the jackass)
• It's in LARGE PRINT
• It's funny
• It's poignant
• It has lots of animals
• It's a bargain in the books section

Buy it at Amazon for only $8.99 and make everybody happy. Now isn't that a better gift than cologne? Oh, you can also get the book for your Kindle, other ereader, or for your listening pleasure in audio format. Gotcha covered for Christmas.

Amazon Kindle Ebook $2.99
Large Print Paperback $8.99 at Amazon

Regular Print Paperback $6.99 at Amazon
Audio Book also on Amazon

Little Eddie tells some almost true Tall Tales set in West Texas of the 1930s. Guess what's true and what Eddie fudged on. Was it about the bear? Cage McNatt's prize sow? The skunk in the cornpatch? Guaranteed for a chuckle and maybe a tear here and there.

Christmas Weirdness 1

Christmas, Noel, Jul. A pagan holiday preempted by Christian monks to make their story more palatable to the heathens. Well, Christmas is even weirder than that. Check out Christmas traditions around the world you might not know. Then, look at the bottom of this post to get the links to my book which is the absolutely most fantastically wonderful present you can buy for cheap. Trust me. Aunt Mabel will love it. So, on to the weird with this from Faux Channel. TALES OF A TEXAS BOY is just the right present for that hard-to-shop-for relative.

• Greenland: Their own version of a Turducken is a Mattak. That's raw whale skin served with blubber) or Kiviak: 500 Auk birds stuffed into a sealskin and fermented for 7 months. I think I'll skip Greenland's Christmas.
• South Africa: Sauteed caterpillar of the Emperor Moth is a Christmas treat.
• Austria: Krampus! See my previous post on the esteemed Christmas guy worse than the Grinch.
• Catalonia: The Nativity scenes includes a picture of a pooping man. Um. Along with the pooping guy, they have a pooping log. Now, I don't know about you, but I think Catalonia got too much bug spray sometime in the past.
• Norway: Brooms are hidden away so witches can't claim possession. What's a witch without a broom? Kelly Conway?
• Japan: The dine-out place of choice is KFC. Makes sense to me.
• Venezuela: The religious go to Mass on roller skates.
• Germany: They hide a pickle in the Christmas tree. The kid who finds it gets an extra gift.
• New Zealand: Not so weird, they use a Pohutukawa tree rather than the standard Douglas fir. They're actually kind of pretty with red flowers.
• Portugal: The Deceased are invited to dinner and have places set at the table for them. What the heck? They don't eat much.
• Germany: Kids leave a sneaker outside to be stuffed with candy. Bad kinder get a twig instead.
• Ukraine: Trees are decorated with an artificial spider and a bunch of spider web. Sounds like the Trump Whitehouse decor.
• Czech Republic: Desperate for marriage it seems. Czech ladies throw a shoe over one shoulder from the door way. The direction the shoe is pointed determines if they'll be married in the coming year.

More weird stuff coming here in the next couple of days.

Now, back to my book, which is much more important.

• It's nostalgic
• It doesn't have any sex (well, there is that thing with the jackass)
• It's in LARGE PRINT
• It's funny
• It's poignant
• It has lots of animals
• It's a bargain in the books section

Buy it at Amazon for only $8.99 and make everybody happy. Now isn't that a better gift than cologne? Oh, you can also get the book for your Kindle, other ereader, or for your listening pleasure in audio format. Gotcha covered for Christmas.

Amazon Kindle Ebook $2.99
Large Print Paperback $8.99 at Amazon

Regular Print Paperback $6.99 at Amazon
Audio Book also on Amazon

Little Eddie tells some almost true Tall Tales set in West Texas of the 1930s. Guess what's true and what Eddie fudged on. Was it about the bear? Cage McNatt's prize sow? The skunk in the cornpatch? Guaranteed for a chuckle and maybe a tear here and there.

Merry Krampus Nacht!

Of course, we all love Santa Claus (or Santa Claws from "Nightmare Before Christmas"), but leave us not forget the adorable Krampus. After all, without Krampus, bad children wouldn't just get coal in their stocking, but they'd also be kidnapped, thrown into a sack, and eaten by the lovely Krampus. The Grinch ain't got nothin' on Krampus.

Here's some stuff from Wikipedia:

In folklore, Krampus is a horned, anthropomorphic figure described as "half-goat, half-demon", who, during the Christmas season, punishes children who have misbehaved, in contrast with Saint Nicholas, who rewards the well-behaved with gifts.

Krampus is one of the companions of Saint Nicholas in several countries including Austria, Bavaria, Croatia, Czech Republic, Hungary, Slovenia, South Tyrol and parts of Northern Italy. The origin of the figure is unclear; some folklorists and anthropologists have postulated its pre-Christian origin.

In traditional parades and in such events as the Krampuslauf (English: Krampus run), young men dressed as Krampus participate; such events occur annually in most
As evil as jolly Saint Krampus is, his role of getting naughty children to behave has worked wonders in the Slavic areas of Europe.

Now, if you don't have a child to traumatize for life with the story of Krampus, maybe you'd rather give a very nice present to an older person in your family (Grandma or Grandpa). TALES OF A TEXAS BOY is just the right present for that hard-to-shop-for relative.

• It's nostalgic
• It doesn't have any sex (well, there is that thing with the jackass)
• It's in LARGE PRINT
• It's funny
• It's poignant
• It has lots of animals
• It's a bargain in the books section

Buy it at Amazon for only $8.99 and make everybody happy. Now isn't that a better gift than cologne? Oh, you can also get the book for your Kindle, other ereader, or for your listening pleasure in audio format. Gotcha covered for Christmas.

Amazon Kindle Ebook $2.99
Large Print Paperback $8.99 at Amazon

Regular Print Paperback $6.99 at Amazon
Audio Book (also available on Amazon)

Little Eddie tells some almost true Tall Tales set in West Texas of the 1930s. Guess what's true and what Eddie fudged on. Was it about the bear? Cage McNatt's prize sow? The skunk in the cornpatch? Guaranteed for a chuckle and maybe a tear here and there.

A Bit of Downhome Nostalgia

Have an elderly or sight-impaired relative who could use a little Holiday Cheer? Consider this Large Print book as a gift.

Tales of a Texas Boy - Large Print  makes a really great Christmas present for those who are still spry, yet their danged glasses don't work as well as they should. My mom's like that. With her progressive lenses, the world in general is more or less clear, but the tiny spot left to the reading part of the lens is difficult for her to find.

The 18Pt type is eyesight-impaired friendly. I can even read it without my glasses.

The trim size (dimensions) is an easier-to-hold 9.7 x 7.4 x 0.3 inches with 138 pages. It's eligible for free shipping and handling from Amazon Prime.

The big news for Tales of a Texas Boy is that it's in audio book now. And, of course, paperback, audio, and ebook are available through Amazon,

Here's the blurb for the book:

How do you handle a crazy jackass? Eddie knows. If you ask Eddie, he'll tell you pigs can fly and show you where to find real mammoth bones. Take his word for it when he tells you always to bet on the bear. These are things he learned while dreaming of becoming a cowboy in West Texas during the Depression. Through Eddie, the hero of "Tales of a Texas Boy," we find that growing up is less about maturity and more about roping your dreams. Hold on tight. It's a bumpy ride. A wonderful read for anyone who enjoys books like "Little House on the Prairie" or "Tom Sawyer." A great bit of nostalgia for seniors, too.

Here's a brief excerpt to give you an idea of what you might expect to find in "Tales of a Texas Boy." In this story, ten-year-old Eddie is left home with only his sister. Without Ma and Pa around, Eddie usually finds some way to get into mischief. This story is titled, "No Angel."

I noticed a flock of blackbirds lit on Ma's clothesline, so I went in and got the shotgun. I loaded it with smallshot and snuck around the side of the house so's not to scare the birds. I figured I could get the whole flock of birds if I shot straight down the clothesline from one end to the other.

I had to be real quiet, so's I thought I'd sneak up on 'em like I was a Comanche. I got down on my belly and rested the shotgun across my arms. The grass was high enough so I'd not be seen. I dug in my elbows and pulled myself real slow around the corner of the house. When I got to the lilac bush, I got up behind it and checked if the birds had a notion I was there. They just sat on the line and didn't even look my way, so I hunched over and ran lickety-split to the oak tree. From there, I was right at the end of the line and no more'n ten feet away.

I leaned around the tree trunk and eyed the line. Yep, I could see right down it. My hands aren't big enough to span both triggers, so I pulled them one at a time. I figured I'd shoot the first barrel and then real quick-like, fire off the second. That way, I'd get to hit the flock twice.

I eased the shotgun up to my shoulder and pulled back slow on the left-hand trigger. The first shot blasted off and knocked me back a few feet where I landed on my rear end real hard. I still held the shotgun in my hands, but I wasn't in any position to fire off the second barrel. When I sat up and looked to see how many birds I got, I was in for a shock. All that noise and not one feather to show for it. But Ma's clothesline...now that's a different story. The durn thing looked like a dead snake layin' there.

I knew right away Ma would not be pleased with this.

I got myself up and was wonderin' what to do next when I looked up and saw the blackbirds flyin' in a circle like they were waitin' for the clothesline to be put back up for 'em to light on.

Bundle Up!

It's very cold above the arctic circle. Here's your chance to bundle up for reading with the new Witches of Galdorheim series ebook bundle. A bit of a discount from the individual book retail prices.

Witches of Galdorheim Bundle

Happy TG Day! Be Kind to Turkeys!

My favorite Thanksgiving Greeting song. Have a nice Thanksgiving day and be kind to turkeys!

Book Review - The Shield of Beom by Renee Duke

Shield of Beom by Renee Duke
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

“Shield of Beom” continues the adventures of the kids who helped the royal heir of Cholar gain his throne and are held in high esteem by everyone on the planet.

Well, almost everyone. A Supreme Ruler (benevolent though he is), is bound to have a few folk who object to his accession. Thus we have a villain, Drazok (Mr. Evil), who's determined to blackmail him into abdicating so he can put someone more pliable on the throne. The villain's ploy is to take advantage of the kidnapping of the monarch’s children in what first appears to be a run-of-the-mill kid-snatch. Only later do we discover...oh, wait. That's spoiler territory.

The kids are determined to thwart Mr. Evil. Adults keep telling them to stay behind and remain safe, but that sort of admonition has never stopped Meda, Kirsty, and Simon, whose response to ‘no’ is to come back with, ‘Oh, yeah!’ Even the less adventuresome Jip and Arlyne are willing to join the others in creating a complicated plan of hide and seek involving false passports and sneaking aboard freight ships to move between planets as they try to rescue the kidnapped royal children.

Then there's the Shield of Beom itself, which must come into play since it's the title of the book, but it'd be a spoiler if I let you know where it is and what power it wields.

Overall, the Side Trip tales are a wonderful mystery and action series for kids (including kids like me). I do hope there will be another. How about the Amulet of Beom or the Spear of Beom or the Aardvark of Beom? Come on, Ms. Duke, I'm ready and willing to dive once more into the adventures of Meda and company. Besides, we need to know what else happens with the AUP Consortium. Surely, that's still something be resolved.

I received an advanced copy of this book for an honest review. Which I have done.

A Couple of New Cool Things

X-RAYS! Well, not as cool as they show in the comics, but a nice feature of Kindle books. You know, the books sold by Amazon. Now, x-rays for ebooks are only available on the Kindle versions you buy at Amazon (or get for free). The author or publisher has to go through a grindingly painstaking process of trying to decide what Characters or Terms the reader might click to find out more about, then decide to write an original definition (generally for characters) or pulled right off Wikipedia (generally for terms or place names).

The entire Witches of Galdorheim series now has x-ray available. If you already have any of the ebooks from Kindle, just kick it off your reader, then re-send it to get the updated version.

Other books with x-rays include "First Duty," "Eagle Quest," and "Missing, Assumed Dead." I'm hitting the Tales of Abu Nuwas books next. My gosh, is there ever a ton of characters and terms to define in those! For one thing, the books have a lot of middle-eastern mythological characters. Sometimes, the English/American spelling varies from source to source. That makes that much harder to locate and either select a decent Wiki article or find some other source and grab it for inclusion.

In addition, I've applied to make The Witches of Galdorheim an official series which allows it to be bundled. Bundling allows a reader to grab all the books in a series at one go. I'd love everybody to do that. I have not yet heard back from Amazon on how this will work exactly. There should be a series product page at some point.

The other good part? It appears that Amazon is giving discounts on the books in the series already. For example, Bad Spelling is retail $3.99 (inflation!), but being sold for $3.14 on Amazon. Hey! Another cool thing (I think), Amazon has also discounted the paperback price to less than the ebook price ($2.95). I assume I'll still get the full royalty if any are sold, so go buy a paperback when it's discounted!

So, here's the Witches of Galdorheim bundle. Retail prices shown are for the individual books. I don't know how much the bundle will be. Also, note that the short story Spellslinger is included in Bad Spelling, so all five are included in the bundle.

Witches of Galdorheim Series

Bad Spelling $3.99 (Discounted to $3.14)
   Midnight Oil $3.99 (Discounted to $3.35)
Scotch Broom $3.99 (no discount yet)

Spellslinger (short story) 99 cents   Blood Ties Tested (novella) $1.99

As I find more information and link to a bundle page, I'll let you know.

Nyra Hutchings and Remy Belieux

*** I just heard from Dawn after years apart and decided to re-run this post in her honor. She didn't know she was a role model.***

In honor of my friend Dawn, I've lowered the price from $2.99 to $0.99 on
Amazon:  First Duty and Ultimate Duty 

Tall, redheaded heroines kick ass. Yes, they do. But mostly only in fantasy and science fiction. When I wrote a redheaded heroine in my books "First Duty" and "Ultimate Duty," I used as my model a real-life person I had known years ago. She was a natural redhead, close to 6' tall (and more in her Frye boots), and she kicked every single ass while barely moving a muscle.

I hung out with Dawn a few years of my college life. Her brother was a temporary boyfriend of mine (also a redhead and quite tall). When that relationship ended, I kept his sister. One excellent reason for doing so beyond her being a funny and witty woman, was her ability to attract men. They flocked to her, growling at each other like the wolves they thought themselves to be. Dawn would laugh.

She flat out told me she could get any guy (who was looking for a hook up, and some that weren't) just by standing up in a room. As that magnificent mane of red hair rose above the crowd, it was as if somebody threw a bucket of chum in the ocean. The sharks circled for a few moments then moved in for the kill.

Dawn would laugh. Place her ringed index finger gently on the chest of the closest and give the guy a tiny push. She had just kicked his ass...big time.

When I released "Ultimate Duty" after it ran for more than three years under the Eternal Press banner, I found another kick-ass redhead to adorn the cover. She looks a lot like Dawn. Dawn would laugh.

So all you other SF/F writers with your tall, redheaded kick-ass heroines, find yourself a real live one like my friend. I have the rights to her (whether she knows it or not), while you all are probably just thinking how cool a tall redheaded kick-ass heroine would be. Have you actually met one? I thought not. Dawn would laugh.

If you have modeled your tall redheaded kick-ass heroine after a real person, tell us about her in the comments. I'll give you a copy of both of my tall redheaded kick-ass heroine books.

Going to War

In TALES OF A TEXAS BOY, I included stories up through my father's high school career as the star quarterback and President of the student body. He was trying to decide what to do next, so he and his best buddy, Red, decided, as teenagers will, to go on a road trip instead. I wrote this poem, which is not in the book, to commemorate my father's decision to defend his country as a soldier just as his father had. This poem was published in a magazine written by and for veterans.

So, Happy Vets Day to both my father and my grandfather, and all the veterans out there on this day in their honor.

Signin' Up

"Free school" the sign said. I never heard of such a thing.
But Red and me, we moved on. We picked tomatoes in the fields.
We drove from place to place, seein' what we could.
Across Highway 66, we seen a lot along the way.

My brand-new Ford ran smooth, but after awhile we heard the news.
Germany didn't look too good. Pa said there'd be war.
So, we went off to Denver with those two blonde-haired gals.
I handed them the keys and told them take the car to Amarillo.

Me and Red joined up, but Pa said don't sign 'til they told me what I'd do.
Red signed ahead of me and he went off and peeled potatoes.
Me, I just hung around 'til they said, how about San Antone?
That was good with me, so I signed on the line and got the uniform.

I ended up on a ship, heading out to Manila Bay.
But, it was December 7th and the ship turned round along the way.
Nobody said what was goin' on, but they give me a coupon for the train.
I headed up to Seattle and, along the way, I heard the news.

I might've got to the Philippines and been killed on Corregidor.
As it is, I watched for the Japs along the Pacific shore.
And that girl seemed just right to marry.
I ended up in Oregon workin' the big trees.

If it hadn't been for Pearl Harbor, where would I have gone?
Maybe that free school down in Fresno.
Maybe I'd signed up to ride fence down at a ranch.
Maybe I'd worked the oil fields like my uncle John.

But the world was what it was and I married that Oregon gal.
I saw the big trees and I liked the logging.
I stayed and sent money to the folks. Come on up, I said.
Where would I have gone, if it hadn't been for Pearl Harbor?

* * *

Great Book for Dad or Grandpa - Surprise them with a Veterans' Day Gift of Old-Time Humor
SPECIAL PRICES FOR EBOOKS THIS MONTH

Amazon Kindle Ebook - $0.99
Photo Illustrated Ebook Free on Smashwords
Large Print Paperback $8.99 at Amazon and other distributors
Audio Book only $6.95

How do you handle a crazy jackass? Eddie knows. If you ask Eddie, he'll tell you pigs can fly and show you where to find real mammoth bones. Take his word for it when he tells you always to bet on the bear. These are things he learned while dreaming of becoming a cowboy in West Texas during the Depression. Through Eddie, the hero of "Tales of a Texas Boy," we find that growing up is less about maturity and more about roping your dreams. Hold on tight. It's a bumpy ride. A wonderful read for anyone who enjoys books like "Little House on the Prairie" or "Tom Sawyer." A great bit of nostalgia for seniors, too.

Free at Smashwords

Saluting My Own Vets

EXTRA EXTRA SPECIAL SPECIAL EBOOK FREE ON SMASHWORDS

FOR THE REST OF NOVEMBER!

I'd be remiss if I didn't include a mention of my very own veteran, Jack. He served in the Philippines before Vietnam became "official."

He was in Intelligence, which meant he spent his time listening to communications between Viet Cong who were already fighting with South Vietnam for the unification of the country into a single Vietnam under the Communist party. Heaven forbid the US would allow people to choose their own system of government.

Anyway, the US was listening in while only a few "advisers" were on the ground in South Vietnam busily trying to prop up the puppet government.

The result: Millions of Vietnamese dead--soldiers, fathers, mothers, sons, brothers, sisters. More than 58,000 American dead. And none of the killing did anything useful at all.

Nevertheless, whether the fighting and deaths were senseless or not, US military put their lives on the line and many died. That's why we salute Veterans. They did all that was asked of them and did it well, but the war was never going to change Vietnam unification. Vets are not saluted for winning, but for giving their all for their countries. This they did with honor.

In honor of all vets from all wars, I hope you'll accept the gift of Tales of a Texas Boy from Smashwords (through the end of the month).

Amazon Kindle Ebook 99 cents 
Smashwords - FREE to the end of November

Large Print Paperback $8.99 at Amazon
Regular Print Paperback $6.99 at Amazon
Audio Book $6.95

Little Eddie tells some almost true Tall Tales set in West Texas of the 1930s. Guess what's true and what Eddie fudged on. Was it about the bear? Cage McNatt's prize sow? The skunk in the cornpatch? Guaranteed for a chuckle and maybe a tear here and there.

Here's a bonus feature. Little Eddie telling another of his stories in his own words. Turn up the volume, the recording isn't the best.

Tales of a Texas Boy - Pa's Story

Here's an excerpt from Tales of a Texas Boy. This story has information I learned from my father about his father - my grandfather, Louis. He had quite an interesting life. As a veterinarian, he traveled to Mexico with Black Jack Pershing, and a few years later to France with Pershing again.

Pa's Story

IN 1916, I was still a young buck and not yet married, so I signed up with Black Jack Pershing to go after Pancho Villa. Ol’ Pancho and his banditos came into US territory and killed a bunch of folks in Columbus, New Mexico.

I was real good with horses, so soon I was the veterinarian. This was just as well, as I didn’t take well to using a gun. I’d never studied vetting in school, but I’d grown up on a farm in Nebraska and knew just about all there was to know about horses and mules. We chased Pancho and his gang just about all over Mexico, but never did catch up with him. A couple years later, I was still in the service, so I ended up goin’ to France with Black Jack when he got to be a General. I could have decided not to go as I’d done my time, but I knew Black Jack could put me to good use.

We were on the troop ship for weeks. Everybody was seasick for the first few days. The horses seemed to fare fine in that regard, but I was worried we couldn’t exercise them enough. We brought them up from the hold, a few at a time, and let them stretch their legs. We’d lead them in a quick walk around the deck. With the metal decks, we didn’t want them to move very fast for fear they’d slip and fall. I’d hate to have to put down a horse with a broken leg, so we took it real easy. As a result, the horses were not in good fightin’ shape by the time we landed in France.

It took some time, but me and Joe, who got assigned to be my assistant, got them in shape again. Mostly the horses were used to pack gear, but a few officers still rode them. Black Jack Pershing liked to ride on occasion, as did Captain Patton. I thought we should only have mules, since they make better pack animals than horses, but there were never enough mules to go around.

We weren’t in too many battles directly as we were the supply line for the army, but in 1918 it turned pretty bad when we went into the Argonne Forest. They called this an ‘offensive.’ I can see why as it offended me a lot. The fighting went on for nearly two months and only ended in November when the big guys signed the Treaty at Versailles.

In that short two months, it was hell on earth. Thousands of men died. One whole division, the 77th, was cut off for near a week and held out surrounded by the German forces. It was some battle, I can tell you. Almost all day long, I could hear the shells bursting and the sharp reports of rifle fire. And I heard the screams of dying men and horses.

The worst part for me was the horses being swept up in the middle of the battle. It broke my heart to go out on the fields after the fighting passed by and after the dead and wounded men were collected. Sometimes the ground was so soaked with blood that my boots were covered before I got back. A horse with an artery torn open bleeds gallons of blood; men only a few pints. It angered me when I thought how much the horses gave. They didn’t even have a say in goin’ to war. Men, at least, had a choice.

* * *

Read the rest of this tale and many more in Tales of a Texas Boy.

Great Book for Dad or Grandpa - Surprise them with a Veterans' Day Gift of Old-Time Humor
SPECIAL PRICES FOR EBOOKS THIS MONTH

Amazon Kindle Ebook - $0.99
Photo Illustrated Ebook - $0.99
Large Print Paperback $8.99 at Amazon and other distributors
Audio Book only $6.95

How do you handle a crazy jackass? Eddie knows. If you ask Eddie, he'll tell you pigs can fly and show you where to find real mammoth bones. Take his word for it when he tells you always to bet on the bear. These are things he learned while dreaming of becoming a cowboy in West Texas during the Depression. Through Eddie, the hero of "Tales of a Texas Boy," we find that growing up is less about maturity and more about roping your dreams. Hold on tight. It's a bumpy ride. A wonderful read for anyone who enjoys books like "Little House on the Prairie" or "Tom Sawyer." A great bit of nostalgia for seniors, too.

Menagerie Available

What book has jackrabbits, chickens, sheep, rattlesnakes, cattle, dogs (several), mules, horses, a jackass, blackbirds, a bear, a bobcat, pigs, an eagle, skunks, coyotes, fish, a mammoth, and a curious and mischievous boy?

There might be only one in the world, I reckon. That'd be TALES OF A TEXAS BOY. Featured this month in honor of Veterans Day. The Large Print paperback is very popular with folks who lived a rural life and remember it with fondness. This book will take them back again to those golden days.

Great Book for Dad or Grandpa - Surprise them with a Veterans' Day Gift of Old-Time Humor
SPECIAL
PRICE FOR EBOOKS THIS MONTH

Amazon Kindle Ebook - $0.99
Photo Illustrated Ebook - $0.99
Large Print Paperback $8.99 at Amazon and other distributors
Audio Book only $6.95

How do you handle a crazy jackass? Eddie knows. If you ask Eddie, he'll tell you pigs can fly and show you where to find real mammoth bones. Take his word for it when he tells you always to bet on the bear. These are things he learned while dreaming of becoming a cowboy in West Texas during the Depression. Through Eddie, the hero of "Tales of a Texas Boy," we find that growing up is less about maturity and more about roping your dreams. Hold on tight. It's a bumpy ride. A wonderful read for anyone who enjoys books like "Little House on the Prairie" or "Tom Sawyer." A great bit of nostalgia for seniors, too.

Audio for Tales of a Texas Boy

Vets' Day Specials (all of November)

$0.99 Amazon Kindle Ebook
$0.99 Photo-Illustrated Ebook
Large Print Paperback Book $8.99 at Amazon
Regular Print Paperback Book $6.99 at Amazon
Audio Book $6.95 at Audible (Free if you sign up)

IF YOU'RE A VET OR KNOW ONE YOU WANT TO GIFT WITH A FREE EBOOK, CONTACT ME AT MY EMAIL ADDRESS (mgdasef@gmail.com)

TALES OF A TEXAS BOY
How do you handle a crazy jackass? Eddie knows. If you ask Eddie, he'll tell you pigs can fly and show you where to find real mammoth bones. Take his word for it when he tells you always to bet on the bear. 

Twenty-one nostalgic stories based on the real life Eddie's adventures growing up in West Texas during the Great Depression. But the stories are not depressing at all! If you like animals and stories of farm and ranch life, this is a perfect book for you.

Watch the Book Trailer on YouTube.

Listen to the audio excerpt at SoundCloud.

November is for Veterans

Great Book for Dad or Grandpa - Surprise them with a Veterans' Day Gift of Old-Time Humor
SPECIAL PRICES FOR EBOOKS THIS MONTH

Amazon Kindle Ebook - $0.99
Photo Illustrated Ebook - $0.99
Large Print Paperback $8.99 at Amazon and other distributors
Audio Book only $6.95

How do you handle a crazy jackass? Eddie knows. If you ask Eddie, he'll tell you pigs can fly and show you where to find real mammoth bones. Take his word for it when he tells you always to bet on the bear. These are things he learned while dreaming of becoming a cowboy in West Texas during the Depression. Through Eddie, the hero of "Tales of a Texas Boy," we find that growing up is less about maturity and more about roping your dreams. Hold on tight. It's a bumpy ride. A wonderful read for anyone who enjoys books like "Little House on the Prairie" or "Tom Sawyer." A great bit of nostalgia for seniors, too.

Tales of a Texas Boy

Did You Wait Too Long?

WITCHES OF GALDORHEIM POST-HALLOWEEN SALE

The entire series 99 cents each. C'mon, less than a buck a book? Who can pass that up? This is the last chance until I get bored and decide to have another sale. The rest of the year will be devoted to Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas sales. Here's a reminder of all the books in the series.

* * *

BAD SPELLING (Book 1) - 99 cents

A klutzy witch, a shaman's curse, a quest to save her family. Can Kat find her magic in time?

All of Kat’s family are either witches or warlocks, depending on their sex, of course. Kat is fourteen and really ought to be able to turn a rabbit into a toad, but things just don’t work out for her. What she gets  is a slimy green hopper. That’s the good part. Unfortunately, it also has long ears and fur. That’s bad spelling.

MIDNIGHT OIL (Book 2) - 99 cents

Shipwrecked on a legendary island, how can a witch rescue her boyfriend if she can’t even phone home?

Kat discovers that an evil forest spirit has kidnapped her brand-new boyfriend. She sets out with her brother, Rune, from her Arctic island home on a mission to rescue the boy. Things go wrong from the start. Kat is thrown overboard during a violent storm, while her brother and his girlfriend are capant island tribe. The mutants hold the girlfriend hostage, demanding that the teens recover the only thing that can make the mutants human again–the magical Midnight Oil.

Mustering every bit of her Wiccan magic, Kat rises to the challenge. She invokes her magical skills, learns to fly an ultralight, meets a legendary sea serpent, rescues her boyfriend, and helps a friendly air spirit win the battle against her spiteful sibling. On top of it all, she’s able to recover the Midnight Oil and help the hapless mutants in the nick of time.

SCOTCH BROOM (Book 3): 99 cents

A magical trip to Stonehenge lands a witch in the Otherworld where an ancient goddess is up to no good.

Kat expects to have a great time on her graduation trip to Stonehenge. However, from the moment she leaves the witches’ arctic island, Galdorheim, she gets in nothing but trouble. Her younger half-brother tries to horn in on her trip, she gets lost in the magical Otherworld realm, is led astray by a supposed friend, then she has to confront a Scottish goddess who’s fallen on hard times.

While dodging the goddess’s minions and trying to find her way out of the Otherworld, Kat soon learns she shouldn’t underestimate the old has-been for one second; the crone still has a few tricks that can drain a witch’s magic in a flash. To make matters worse, Kat's brother secretly followed her into the Otherworld. Now he’s in danger, too. Kat has to go one on one with the goddess to save herself and her brother.

SPELLSLINGER (Prequel Short Story): 99 cents

What does a teenage half-warlock, half-vampire do to have fun? Why build an old west town on a glacier in the Arctic. There he can play at being the good guy sheriff up against mean old Black Bart.

That things will go horribly wrong is a given. But how does Rune get into and out of the predicament? This prequel story to the Witches of Galdorheim series gives the reader a chance to get to know the smart-aleck kid, Rune, before he got his magic down pat.

BLOOD TIES TESTED - Sequel and Final Book of the Series: 99 cents
Unfortunate events lead a half vampire boy into indulging his vampire side, leaving him with regret and sadness. Can dear old Dad help him forgive himself?

Following the events in the series Witches of Galdorheim, this additional tale relates what happens to Katrina the Witch's younger brother, Rune. Half vampire and half warlock, he faces life with a wisecrack and some powerful magic. Whatever happens, he does not want to be a vampire like his father. Unfortunate events lead him to fatally call on his vampire half. This failure leaves him in anguish. How can he assuage the guilt he feels? His mother thinks he needs to visit dead old dad, a vampire residing in the Tatras Mountains of Slovakia.