Showing posts with label Mixed Bag II: Supersized. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mixed Bag II: Supersized. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Early Christmas Ideas - Mixed Bag I and II

Continuing with paperback month, I come to two short story collections. Actually, there's the short, PG book titled "Mixed Bag." I give this away in ebook format a lot.

I added a dozen stories with more adult themes to the larger book, "Mixed Bag II: Supersized." The majority of the stories were previously published in either print or ezine. In other words, some editor thought they were good enough to publish.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1460943686
Both books are available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon. You can also find them at Barnes and Noble and Kobo in other formats.

The Kindle ebooks are free from Amazon if you buy the paperback under the Matchbook program.


  
Mixed Bag II: Supersized

Here's what you'll find in the books. About half of them are in Mixed Bag; all of them are in Mixed Bag II.

Science Fiction
Fish Story
Published in The Fifth Di... ezine and included in Wondrous Web Worlds #7 best of anthology from Sam’s Dot Publishing.
The Delegate
Published in Lorelei Signal ezine and included in the A Time To, Volume 2 best of anthology.
The Great Writing Competition
Published in AnotherRealm

Horror/Dark
Heather's Pain
Published in Weirdly, Volume 1 from WildChild Publishing.
The Vision
Published in Weirdly, Volume 1 from WildChild Publishing.
The Hunter
Published in Weirdly, Volume 1 from WildChild Publishing.
Country Faire
Published in Weirdly, Volume 1 from WildChild Publishing.
Coward
Published in Weirdly, Volume 1 from WildChild Publishing.
Extraordinary Rendition
Published in The Deepening and November 3rd Club
No Deposit, No Return
Published in Diddledog Flash

Fantasy
Chilpequin - 22 Miles
Published in Lorelei Signal ezine and A Time To..., Volume 1 best of anthology.
Cursed Valley
Published in Scribal Tales, Sorcerous Signals and Arcane Whispers best of anthology.
A Visit to Potter's Field
Published in Lorelei Signal ezine and A Time To..., Volume 1 best of anthology
Jonathan Swift Finds Nemo
Published in 5th Story Review

Miscellaneous Bits and Pieces
Big Bessie's Place
Published in Green Silk Journal
If You Could See Her
Published in The Deepening and Lily Lierary Reviw.
Ma 'Yote and Her Cubs
Published in Tales of a Texas Boy
A Good, Honest Dog
Published at Wildchild Publishing On-Line
Lemons
Published in Stories for Children

Drabbles and Flashes
Four Drabbles
Published here and there
Neighborly
Published in AnotherRealm.
Fair’s Fair
Published in Bewildering Stories.

Unpublished Stories I Happen To Like
Invasion
Entomological Horror
Shasta Lake
Literary Realism





Saturday, September 07, 2013

Jonathan Swift Finds Nemo: An Alt History Short

I don't have any time travel tales, but I did dabble with an alternate history idea. It's one of my favorite short stories because it is very different from anything else I've written. Leave a comment on this post to win an ebook copy of my short story collection "Mixed Bag II: Supersized." Available in most ebook formats and in print.

Jonathan Swift Finds Nemo
Originally published at 5th Story Review.

Jonathan Swift sighed, setting aside his newly published book. It turned out to be wildly popular, the talk of the town. He’d written it as a travel book, but soon realized that he had to protect the Houyhnhnms. So, he changed it to a satire and populated it with thinly-veiled references to the Whigs. That, people would accept, even find amusing.

When he found the Houyhnhnm island, he was, as anyone would be, totally surprised at the discovery of a kind and gentle race of intelligent horses. They had so impressed him that he knew he must tell others. Alas, he had promised to never disclose their location, so he was forced into this fiction using the character Dr. Gulliver as his voice.

Now, he was becoming restless again. Since the untimely death of Stella, he found that no distraction could stop his thoughts from always turning to her. Still, life must go on, and he was eager to explore new vistas. He decided to go for a walk down to the harbor to see if any interesting ships had arrived.

Pulling on his heavy cape, to ward the London fog that descended, he ambled to the wharf and scanned the ships. His jaw dropped and he stared wide-eyed for a moment. One of the ships had sides clad in metal–not just strips used to strengthen and protect the seams, but entirely metal-bound. He walked rapidly to the side of this phenomenon and noted a man, apparently the captain, standing on the deck directing sailors in their tasks.

Ahoy, Captain of the ship.”

The ornately-dressed captain turned his way. His long coat was not entirely nautical in appearance. It reminded Jonathan of a Rajah’s attire, except heavily-braided on the shoulders and down the sleeves. “Est-ce que je peux vous aider?” the Captain asked.

Jonathan delved his memory for the French he had learned at school. “Parlez-vous Anglais?

The Captain nodded. “I do, monsieur. May I help you?”

May I introduce myself?” Jonathan placed his hand on his chest. “I am Jonathan Swift.”

The Captain smiled broadly. “I have heard of you, Monsieur Swift. I enjoyed your book, “Gulliver’s Travels.” A most imaginative travel guide. Quite amusing.”

Thank you, Captain.” Jonathan studied the Captains dark face thinking he must have Hindoo blood in him. He waited for the Captain to introduce himself.

My name is Captain de Nemours, Monsieur Swift. My ship is named, as you can see on the side, the Nautilus.”

I am curious about your ship, Captain. It appears to be entirely covered in metal. How does it float?”

Ah, advanced engineering. Not only does it float, but it can also dive under the surface of the sea. They call it a submarine. A Dutchman built the first of its kind for James I. Not a very practical model, requiring oars, but we have made a few improvements in the last hundred years.”

This ship is fantastic, Captain de Nemours. It amazes me that I have not heard of this means of marine transport before.”

This is the only one of its kind, Monsieur Swift. I am proud to be the first to command.”

Is it, then, a French invention?” Swift looked for a flagstaff, but couldn’t see one. “I do not see your colours.”

My crew and I have not allied the Nautilus to any country. I designed and built this ship myself.” He scanned the decks of the submarine with a slight smile on his lips. “We are free adventurers, traveling wherever we will, whenever we will.”

The two men chatted for a while longer. Finally, Swift could no longer contain himself. “I must sail in this ship, Captain de Nemours. Is there any possibility you could take me as a passenger? I don’t care where we go or for how long. I’ll pay whatever passage you ask.”

My most sincere apologies, Monsieur Swift. I cannot do that. We have, shall we say, things to do that preclude taking passengers.”

Swift was downcast and wondered whether to press the point. He decided to wait, perhaps get to know this Captain better, then he might relent and take him along. They said their goodbyes, and Swift returned to his home thinking furiously.

He immediately set pen to paper, describing the ship and its Captain in as much detail as he could remember. He intended to write about this ship and wanted to have accurate notes to go by. He hoped he would have the experience of actually sailing with the Captain.

Once he had written all that he could on the brief meeting, he took another piece of paper, a fine foolscap, and wrote a note to Captain de Nemours, inviting him to dinner. He called his footman, Ben, and sent him off to the wharf to deliver the invitation.

Ben soon returned with the note still in his hand. “I couldn’t find the ship, Master Swift. I asked around, but nobody seemed to know what I was talking about.”

Swift sighed. He thought the good Captain regretted all that he had told him and had set sail to preclude just this type of pressure. He picked up his notes on the ship, and heaving another sigh, he sadly put them in the bottom drawer of his desk. “Maybe someday the Nautilus will return.” He could only hope.

He pulled a few blank sheets of paper before him and picked up his quill. He had been working on this essay for a while and really should complete it. “What shall I title this?” he asked himself, then wrote “A Modest Proposal” at the top of the page.
* * *
More than one hundred forty years later, Jules Verne browsed through an antique shop in Paris. Spotting a desk of English design, he thought it would go nicely in his library. He bought the desk and gave directions for its delivery to his home.

Later, he sat at his new purchase to examine its features. In a lower drawer in the back, almost hidden from view, he found a set of papers describing a fantastic ship and a captain named de Nemours.

Hmm, this gives me an idea,” he muttered and began to write.

Thursday, February 07, 2013

Another Short Story

Yeah, yeah. I don't have anything new to announce, so I'll continue to post short stories when I don't have a guest (coming up on the 9th: Pat McDermott with her delightful Irish Magical Realism series).

This is a longer story. I considered breaking it into two parts, but I think bringing an audience back two days in a row doesn't work. So here is a little paranormal/horror previously published in "Weirdly. Volume 2" from WildChild Publishing. It is also included in "Mixed Bag 2: Supersized."

The Vision

Charlie just had his first real vision, and it couldn’t have surprised him more. He glanced out at Mary Beth in the audience giving him frantic, although subtle, signals. He shook his head and almost heard Mary Beth gasp. Charlie shouldn’t move his head more than a centimeter, and he’d clearly moved it at least ten. Ten left, ten right, and ten left again.

He saw Mary Beth register his confusion. “Charles the Great is tiring, so that’s all the answers for this evening, folks. Next up, Gale and Her Magic Chickens!” she said.

Charlie took Mary Beth’s hint for a way out. He bowed to the audience a couple of times to a light smatter of applause, exiting stage left as fast as he could. Charlie collapsed on the folding chair sitting off stage as the startled Gale trooped by him with her colorful box full of chickens.

Just what is wrong with you?” Mary Beth hissed the instant she arrived behind the curtains.

I don’t know. I just got dizzy for a second,” Charlie said, bending his head down between his knees to emphasize his statement. He didn’t feel dizzy at all, but he wasn’t ready to tell Mary Beth about the vision.  He had to sort it out himself first.

The partners of the mind-reading act of Charles the Great stumbled through the dark backstage to their dressing room. Mary Beth sat at the dressing table, pulled off her costume jewelry, and applied cleansing cream to her face. By the set of her mouth, Charlie knew that the rest of the evening might not be a pleasant one.

Charlie and Mary Beth had a great little mind-reading act. Mary Beth selected a person from the audience and chatted with them for a few moments before holding up the microphone.

Charles, are you receiving anything from this person?” she’d say.

Charlie would already have taken on the glazed look of a person in a deep trance. Staring directly at Mary Beth, he picked up the cues which provided the information he used to ‘read’ minds.

The lady is married,” he intoned. The wedding ring on her left hand provided the clue. Mary Beth’s lips barely moved, no more than a ventriloquist. She held the mike close to her mouth, but angled slightly to one side. Her mouth formed the letters, and more often, the shorthand codes they used.

M. I see an M. The lady’s name begins with M?”

Mary Beth’s head twitched to the right. “No, she’s married to an M.” Mary Beth smiled.

Is it Mike?”

Mary Beth twitched her mouth to the left. “No, no. It is M A, I can see it starts with M, then A.” An imperceptible nod, and her right little finger curled a micrometer.

Marvin!” the woman blurted.

Yes, you are married to Marvin,” Charlie said.

Charlie loved it when the audience did his work for him. The smart ones kept a straight face and didn’t say a word.

Charlie noted the woman’s smile turning downward. Could it be? He took a stab at the meaning of the expression. “Is Marvin no longer with us?”

Yes, I mean no. That is, he died last summer,” the woman sputtered.

I’m very sorry for your loss.” Mary Beth moved quickly to the next person. A raised left eyebrow, and she hauled the microphone through the audience looking for the clues that told a person’s story. Wedding rings, expensive watches, callouses, scars, clothing…open books to Mary Beth and Charlie’s skills.

If the audience knew how they did their tricks, they might be disappointed. Unless, of course, they thought about it for a moment or two. The pair’s ability to guess as accurately as they did even amazed their colleagues who knew the score. The subtle secrets people thought hidden, were clear as glass to Mary Beth and Charlie.

But now, Charlie had experienced a vision, a real one. It didn’t come from Mary Beth’s hints or his own keen observations. The audience and Mary Beth had disappeared from his view, and another picture appeared. No, more than a picture, the scene played right there before his eyes.

Now, Charlie sat in the dressing room watching Mary Beth wipe cream from her face. The vision still vivid in his mind, he wondered what it meant. Maybe it meant nothing. They’d been working hard for several months with a show every night and matinees Saturday and Sunday. Maybe he was just tired. Maybe he’d eaten something bad, like Scrooge’s bit of underdone potato, more gravy than grave.

Mary Beth moved around the dressing room putting things away, not speaking to him. She didn’t have to tell him she was giving him the silent treatment. No. So attuned with one another, Mary Beth knew she needn’t explain the obvious to Charlie. Clearly, he had ticked her off.

I had a vision,” Charlie offered, ready to see what Mary Beth thought.

Humph.”

No, really. I saw it plain as day.”

Mary Beth spun the stool around and glared at him—not a subtle tell at all.

You’ll get us fired if we don’t do a full show. Times are tough, and acts like ours are a dime a dozen.”

It only happened this once. Besides, Gale was all ready to go with her chickens.”

You’re lucky. Most of the time, she’s out in the alley having a smoke before she goes on.”

Don’t you want to know what I saw?”

Well, I can’t imagine it’s important. I mean, you’re not really a mind reader or whatever, so your mind just hiccuped or something.” Mary Beth turned back to the mirror and started pulling pins out of her hair, which she wore in an up-do for the show.

No, it was more than that,” Charlie whispered, looking down at his hands. They rubbed against each other seemingly out of his control.

All right. If it will make you feel better, then tell me about it,” Mary Beth mumbled through a mouthful of bobby pins.

Charlie opened his mouth then shut it again as it dawned on him he didn’t have the words to describe the vision. Start with the setting.

I saw, um, the audience,” he muttered. No, more than that.

Yes?” Mary Beth prompted, “What about the audience?”

Well, at first the people looked just like they did in real life….”

And?”

But then they weren’t.”

Weren’t what? What are you talking about, Charlie?” Mary Beth demanded, her voice taking on that screechy tone it got when she became angry.

Alive.”

Mary Beth stared at Charlie for a good three count then slapped her hairbrush down. “You’re too much, Charlie. Okay, so the people were dead. Corpses, rotting? How about me?”

It didn’t last long enough for me to see much detail, but, yes, corpses. I don’t know if they were rotting, but they weren’t just, you know, skeletons.” Mary Beth stared at him. He added, “I didn’t see you.”

So why do you think you had a real vision? Do you really think you’re clairvoyant?” she said with a sneer.
Charlie shook his head, “Oh, I don’t know, Mary Beth. Quit asking questions I can’t answer. All I know is for about ten seconds I was looking out at a bunch of dead people. Sprawled across the seats, their heads lolled over, mouths hanging open, eyes staring. It was creepy, damn it!”

Mary Beth picked up her brush and stroked her hair in silence. Charlie watched her in the mirror. He knew she was considering what he had said, maybe thinking he was nuts. His gut twisted, and a chill made the hairs stand up on his arms. Mary Beth became a grinning skull, her bony hand smoothing a few rotted hanks of hair on her head. Then, the flesh and blood Mary Beth returned.

Charlie let out the breath he had sucked in when the vision started. Again, it lasted only a few seconds. Before he even realized what he saw, the vision disappeared.

The vision was too real to be an hallucination. He leaned over and held his face in his hands, covering his eyes. He didn’t want to see any more.

Oh, sweetie. I’m sorry I was mad at you. Don’t be like that.”

A hand touched his shoulder. He spread his fingers slightly to peek at it. He saw warm skin, and relief flooded through him. He looked up at Mary Beth’s face. Her eyebrows turned down in the middle forming those cute little wrinkles he loved so much.

It’s okay,” he said. “I’m okay now. Look, get changed, and we’ll go grab a bite.”

Sure, babe, that’d be nice.” Mary Beth walked to the small closet and pulled out her street clothes. She slipped off the gold lamé gown and high heels and put on her blouse and slacks. Sitting down, she shoved her feet into a pair of scuffed loafers.

Charlie decided these visions must be simply a result of overwork and stress. Reading minds was tougher when your eyesight began to fail. He sighed. He’d have to go to an optometrist soon. He could hardly read Mary Beth’s signals any more. He’d asked her to keep to the front of the room, but it wouldn’t look right to choose participants from only the front rows.

They left the theater through the stage door. Before the door swung shut, Charlie heard the squawk of Gale’s chickens. He shook his head, amused. Gale’s act was pretty strange, but still popular. Maybe the incongruity of using a chicken in a magic act instead of the standard pigeon appealed to the audience. Whatever the reason, Gale usually received a couple of standing o’s every week. That might be because she was always the last act and everybody was ready to stand up and leave.

The visions began to fade from his mind, and Charlie felt very ready to forget them. He’d happily write them off as some temporary phenomena resulting from overwork and fading eyesight. Still, the vision of Mary Beth’s skinless skull in the mirror hung behind his eyes. He shivered, and Mary Beth clutched his arm closer to her side. He loved her: a good woman, besides being a great performer, with the best tells in the business.

They walked out of the alley. On the street, they stopped for a moment to glance one way, then the other.

Barney’s?”

Sure, I could go for a steak.” They turned left and walked past the front of the theater. The sign read: VAUDEVILLE REVIVAL SHOW and CHARLES THE GREAT beneath. He enjoyed being the headliner. The show neared the end of its run, so they’d be on the road again, playing one-nighters in small towns. Maybe it was time to get honest work. He felt tired, dog tired, and this thing tonight showed him the end of the act had to come soon. I could sell real estate.

As they walked along the street, he got another flash. Parked cars held rotting corpses. He saw the details now, strings of flesh and tissue hanging from bones. The bodies sprawled back, caught in some strange throe of death. Sudden, sudden death. Charlie restrained his responses. Just pretend it’s not there. But he couldn’t restrain his pounding heart. He questioned his sanity, but wasn’t ready yet to scream for help.

Mary Beth stood still by his side. He clung to her while the flashes of death continued off and on. She looked at him with concern. Tensing, then stumbling, Charlie staggered as the visions came and went.

What is it? What’s going on?” Mary Beth gripped his arm tighter to hold him upright.

I don’t know.” Charlie’s voice trembled with fear. “Let’s go back to the hotel.”

Sure, Charlie.” Mary Beth’s reply shook almost as much as Charlie’s. His eyes were glazing, and he began to stumble. She grabbed his arm tighter and steered him back down the street toward the rundown hotel they had made their temporary home.

The visions came faster, flashing into existence for a second or two then disappearing, only for them to reappear in the next minute. All different, each flash showed a blighted view of reality: the bum grubbing in the trash can sprawled on the ground, mouth gaping in death; the couple walking across the street fell in a heap across each other’s bodies; a dead cat crouched in the alley forever stalking a mouse covered with maggots.

Everything living had died and decayed—horrible.

Worst of all, Mary Beth kept dropping away from him as each vision appeared. Over and over, he saw her ruined body lying on the pavement, her lipless mouth hanging open. The next moment, her warm hand gripped his again, and she led him down the street.

Charlie couldn’t take any more. What’s wrong with me? This was much more than just fatigue or overwork.

Hospital,” he said, barely able to speak through his clenched teeth.

Flash. Mary Beth flagged down a cab.

Flash. The cab driver laid over the steering wheel.

Flash. The streets filled with alternating living, breathing humans, then rotting corpses.

Charlie closed his eyes tight once in the cab; he no longer needed to see to walk. He noticed sound now accompanied the visions. He hadn’t heard anything when the gruesome visions first appeared. The background noise of traffic alternately blared or went silent while the visions continued. The traffic noise signaled the end of a vision flash, and he half-opened his eyes.

The cab pulled in front of the hospital emergency room. Mary Beth paid the cabbie, who helped her carry Charlie to the doors. An orderly rushed over, and the cabbie walked to the door, collapsing just outside. As Charlie turned to the orderly, the entire waiting room fell as silent as the bodies scattered in it.

Charlie closed his eyes, waiting for the end of the flash, but the silence persisted. The ding, ding of an elevator door sounded somewhere—the sound it makes when it repeatedly attempts to close on an obstruction.

The silence and dinging continued, and time stretched into a minute, then two. Charlie stood waiting for the murmur of voices, the strong arm of the orderly to take him.

Charlie knew he had to look. He opened his eyes to the expected moldering bodies. Peering down a long hallway, he spied the elevator. A man’s body stopped the door from closing. In front of Charlie, the orderly and Mary Beth’s corpses sprawled. He began to weep, first a few tears and then racking sobs. The vision continued. Why wouldn’t it end?

Slowly, his sobs faded. A memory came back to him, one he had made great effort to suppress. The memory had led him here to the hospital; Mary Beth’s body still lay on the floor, exactly where it had slumped two weeks before.

Charlie had come in for a bad neck pain. In the shielded x-ray room when the end came, only he had survived. The lead-lined room protected people outside from the minor effect of the x-rays. But the lead lining also protected Charlie from the immediate radiation and death of the neutron bomb.

The last world war came on fast and brutal and finished off nearly everyone in the city. Very few survived, and those who did tried very hard to forget. Charlie had managed to do just that for two weeks, but reality had a way of getting in his face. Charlie looked down at his hands and, for the first time, noticed the suppurating sores. He wondered how much time he had left. Charlie couldn’t forget anymore.


Where you can find my collections:


The first, Mixed Bag, is my "freebie" sampler with a dozen short stories. You can get a FREE ebook copy at Smashwords.

I doubled down on Mixed Bag II: Supersized to include a number of stories showing my darker side. Also available in ebook at Smashwords, I priced it at a bargain 99 cents.

Print editions are also available on Amazon.

Monday, February 04, 2013

Sasquatch Continued + Bonus Story


*** Continued from yesterday's post http://mgddasef.blogspot.com/2013/02/sasquatch-story-interlude.html

“You’re kidding!” I exclaimed, and started to laugh until I saw how serious he looked.

“We’ve got to hide out, so we fit in wherever we can. You know those linemen in the NFL? You don’t think they grow people that big, do you?”

“Well, football. They are pretty big guys.” I was getting a little worried, so I tried to sound normal, kind of light so he wouldn’t see I was getting a little scared. If this guy thought he was a Sasquatch, then he was crazier then I thought.

He sighed deeply and I could feel his hot breath cross my face.

“Yeah, my cousins both play for the Seahawks. I’ve got an aunt who’s a linebacker for the Chicago Bears.”

I relaxed a bit. Now I knew he was putting me on. Must be boring out here in the woods and the favorite game was to goon the tourist.

“How could a wo...female, uh, Sasquatch play football?” I played along.

“She doesn’t take showers with the team. Hell, they wouldn’t notice anyway.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond. It was bad enough that he was taking this joke so far, but he sure was big...and hairy. I didn’t think I wanted to sit here by myself with a guy who thought he was Bigfoot. Possibly, it was time to move on. I shoved my beer to his side of the bar.

“You all done?” he asked, gesturing at my half full glass.

“Yep. I’m all done.”

He gave me my change and I walked out as fast as I could short of running, got into my car and drove away a little quicker than was good on this road. I decided to head back to the main highway. I think I had found a little more than I wanted off the beaten path.

I wonder to this day whether that big bartender is still up there serving beer to the occasional hunter or hiker and telling his story. I can promise you, I won’t tell.

* * * BONUS BIG FOOT STORY * * *
I got the idea of Big Foot as bartender many years ago. I wrote this flash fiction, which got an Honorable Mention in some contest. It was published in Anotherrealm years later.

Fair’s Fair

I lurched across Pioneer Square, hurt by the turned-away eyes. I wish they’d look at me–go ahead and stare! After the car wreck, the doctors did their best to put me together, but even a pro can’t fix a thing if some of the parts are missing and can’t be replaced.

I dragged my body into a bar and pulled myself up on a bar stool, making sure that the cash register blocked my view of the mirror. As usual, I sat with head bent, hat pulled down over my eyes.

What’ll ya have, buddy?” the bartender’s rough voice rumbled.

I looked up, expecting the usual gasp of surprise or disgust, the eyes shifting left or right. I got neither. The bartender looked straight in my face, continuing to wipe the glass he held.

I was the one who gasped. He was over seven feet tall with one of the ugliest faces I’d ever seen, including my own. He was poorly shaved, the stubble continuing down his neck to disappear under his shirt.

I said, what’ll ya have, buddy?” he repeated.

Uh, scotch,” I whispered. This was not a man, I thought. His nose was a snout; his canines long and pointed; his arms would have hung to his knees. He looked like those pictures, except for the shave and clothes, of course. My own appearance made me bold; people tolerate questions from those they pity.

You look like one of those Bigfoot monsters,” I ventured. His chuckle was a guttural cough.

So?” he said noncommittally.

So, how can you be here? Why haven’t the cops or the zoo come to get you?”

You oughta know the answer to that, buddy,” he grinned.

What do you mean?”

C’mon, you’re almost as ugly as me. It works great. Right, buddy?”

I could see how it worked for him. When you’re as ugly as that, no one looks at you, except maybe a kid. He’d have no problem hiding out in the city.

But, why?” I wanted to know.

We–yes, there’s lots of us–did okay in the woods until all those science guys and hunters started comin’ after us. We want to be left alone, so we went where no one would think to look for us.”

Dollar signs danced before my eyes. “What if I turned you in?”

Now, you wouldn’t do that, buddy.” His confident gaze met mine.

I wondered why he’d believe I wouldn’t make a buck for myself. Then it dawned on me. He and I were the same, brothers so to speak. I answered the only way possible. “Right...fair’s fair.”


Where you can find my collections:


The first, Mixed Bag, is my "freebie" sampler with a dozen short stories. You can get a FREE ebook copy at Smashwords.

I doubled down on Mixed Bag II: Supersized to include a number of stories showing my darker side. Also available in ebook at Smashwords, I priced it at a bargain 99 cents.

Print editions are also available on Amazon.

Sunday, February 03, 2013

Sasquatch Story Interlude

I blather on a lot about my books, but I also have quite a few published short stories. I made two collections of the stories a while back. The first, Mixed Bag, is my "freebie" sampler with a dozen short stories. You can get a free ebook copy at Smashwords.

I doubled down on Mixed Bag II: Supersized to include a number of stories showing my darker side. Also available in ebook at Smashwords, I priced it at a bargain 99 cents.

Print editions are also available on Amazon.

Being from the Pacific Northwest, I have a fondness for Bigfoot. I wrote a couple of stories featuring the big, hairy guy. The illustration by Holly Eddy was published with the story in Lorelei Signal way back in 2006. The story is fairly long, so I'm splitting it into two parts and posting the 2nd tomorrow.

Chilpequin 22 Miles
Fantasy/Humor
Originally published in Lorelei Signal and
“A Time To..., Volume 1” from Wolfsinger Press

I like to take the roads less traveled. Bless Mr. Frost’s heart for that thought. So, when I saw a tiny sign–Chilpequin 22 Miles–I just couldn’t resist and turned off the main highway. Like the bear who went over the mountain, I wanted to see what I could see in Chilpequin.

The road was narrow and had more than its fair share of potholes. I bumped along at way less than the recommended speed. I guessed the highway crews haven’t been up this way for a while.

In about an hour, I pulled into beautiful downtown Chilpequin, which seemed to consist of a gas station with a Mom & Pop store attached and a tavern aptly named Chilpequin Tavern. I took advantage of the gas pumps. I never minded paying those high prices when you get a little something extra. Here, it was a statue of Bigfoot carved from a single tree trunk standing beside the side of the road. I recalled that this was Bigfoot country.

You’ve heard of them, haven’t you? The Abominable Snowman, Sasquatch, Yeti. It’s one of the things that make these mountains interesting. I’ll admit that I didn’t exactly disbelieve in Bigfoot. The forests up here are millions of square acres and nobody could have seen everything. Stranger things have been found. I recall they found a prehistoric fish a few years back. The scientists didn’t think they existed either, until some fisherman pulled one up on a line.

After the fill up, I meandered on over to the tavern. It was dark and cool like taverns tend to be. Nobody was in the place except the bartender wiping glasses behind the bar. He was one big fella, I’ll tell you. His shoulders had to be three feet wide, at least.

I perched on a bar stool directly in front of the big guy.

“What’ll ya have, ma’am?” he asked politely, but in a voice that commanded respect.

“Beer. Whatever you have on tap,” I answered just as politely.

“Bud okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

He poured a tall glass and set it neatly on a little coaster in front of me. I pulled out a five and laid it on the bar. He didn’t touch it just in case I wanted more than one.

“So, what’s happening up here in Chilpequin? I heard that this is Bigfoot country” I said to make conversation.

He let out a deep chuckle and said “Ah, you don’t believe those fairy tales, do ya?.”

“I suppose not, but it’s pretty interesting stuff.” I sat in silence while he continued the unnecessary polishing of glasses.

“Hey,” I added, “there’s even that statue out front of the store.”

“Oh, that’s just tourist stuff,” he said gruffly

I decided to bait him about it. Just for fun, you understand.

“Yep, I heard the government was covering it up. Like that Area 51 down in New Mexico I’ll bet a lot of folks have actually seen Bigfoot.”

“It’s just a story!” he exclaimed, a little more vehement than I thought necessary.

He leaned over the bar and looked both ways to make sure nobody was listening, although the bar was empty. Then, he said real quiet like, “I know the facts.”

“You do? Well, what are these facts?” I responded, hoping this would be good.

He stood up straight and I tilted my head upwards to keep contact with his eyes. Near seven feet tall, no, make that eight.

“The Sasquatch, which is the correct name by the way, really exist. They don’t want people to know they’re up there. And, that’s the truth.”

He polished the glass some more and looked a bit introspective, maybe even sad.

“If the scientist guys caught up with one, well, it wouldn’t be very pleasant.”

“I take it you’ve seen them?” I asked.

He leaned toward me again until his big nose was no more than three inches from mine.

“I’ve more than seen ‘em.”

“What? Do they live in the back of the store or something? Look, I wasn’t born yesterday,” I said a little testily. After all, I was just playing him, but he seemed way too serious to me.

“Well, of course they don’t live in the back of the store,” he said as if he were talking to a kid.

“They live way up there,” he said, jerking his thumb behind him. I looked, but only saw the array of liquor bottles behind the bar.

“Old growth forest,” he continued as if that explained everything.

“So what? The Forest Service keeps selling off the old growth. The big trees aren’t protected everywhere. Logging rigs go up and down this road, now don’t they?” I come from a logging family, so I know a little bit about this stuff.

“That’s true, but there are places even the loggers can’t get to. Hillsides so steep and undergrowth so thick that mountain goats wouldn’t go near them. That’s where they live,” he said with finality.

“Well, that’s just bull!” I couldn’t help exclaiming.

I was beginning to suspect he was a few cards short of a deck. He didn’t seem to have much more to say. I think I’d actually hurt his feelings.

“Look,” I said, getting a little huffy, “I said in the first place that I thought Bigfoot might exist and you were the one who said that was all tourist crap.”

He glared at me for a moment. Then, he realized either what I said was true or he wasn’t being a very good bartender.

“Yep,” he said with a crooked grin, “I sure did say that. Sorry, ma’am. I don’t mean to make you mad.”

Still, I was getting the impression that his smile was a little too forced. I was starting to think, just a little, that he was serious. He really did believe in Bigfoot and he really did believe they lived up in these woods.

He looked at me with an intensity that made me squirm a little. Then, he said something that took me completely by surprise.

“I am one.”

*** Continued tomorrow

Sunday, May 08, 2011

UPDATE: Mixed Bag II Now in Print

It's pretty easy to make a print book. Not many people buy them, and I don't spend time advertising them, but as long as ereaders aren't owned by everybody in the world, there will be a reason for printed books.

I got a fairly decent cover for the print version out of CreateSpace. It's the first time I used their cover creator. I thought it quite flexible and even the artistically challenged, such as yours truly, can whomp up a nice cover.

Matter of fact, I liked it enough, that I've put in on my ebooks of the same book content.

It will be a few days until the print edition is available, but I can already show the cover to the left. Click on it! You don't have to buy, but it might earn me a penny or so just for having you click. That's how this monetizing thing works. The more you click on my blog (including those adverts you see over in the right column), the more I can earn.

A little science fiction, a bit of fantasy, plenty of humor, and some really shocking horror. These are tales to suit any mood. Most stories in this book were previously published in on-line or print publications. The author is re-issuing the stories since an editor somewhere liked them enough to publish them in the first place.



Fish Story - Science Fiction
The Vision - Horror/Fantasy
Chilpequin 22 Miles - Fantasy
Coward - Horror
Heather's Pain - LitFic
The Delegate - SciFi
No Deposit, No Return - LitFic
Taxman - Humor
The Country Faire - Horror
Fair's Fair - Fantasy
If You Could See Her - Romance
Ma 'Yote and Her Cubs - Nostalgia LitFic
Invasion - Horror
The Cursed Valley - Fantasy
Shasta Lake - LitFic
Big Bessie's Place - LitFic
The Hunter - Horror
The Great Writing Competition - SciFi
A Good, Honest Dog - Non-fic
A Visit to Potter's Field - Fantasy
Extraordinary Rendition - LitFic
Jonathan Swift Finds Nemo - Alterate History
Lemons - Children
Neighborly - LitFic
A Grab Bag of Drabbles