If I Was Dave Barry

If I had Dave Barry's comic writing ability, this story would be much better. I still can't resist telling it. As Dave would say, "I'm not making this up."

From an AP report out of Lynnwood Washington:

A couple pulled up near a pet store, Petco, which allows people to bring their pets in. Dogs and cats, pretty common, but the woman carried her duck inside. In the meantime, her male companion decides to go to the nearby Linens 'n Things and shoplifts some iPod accessory. He leaves the store with a security guard hot on his trail.

The woman with the duck sees this activity and goes out to wave the man down as he tries to escape. He runs into her whereon she drops the duck as she's hit. A Petco employee, runs out to save the duck. As she grabs the duck out of harm's way, the man in the car runs over her,too. But, all this smashing into both friends and strangers disoriented him and he ends up rear-ending another car. The security guard catches up and holds the man for the police.

The Petco employee got a broken ankle, but the duck was okay.

My husband and I thought it suspicious that the duck owner didn't know her male companion was planning to shoplift. We could only assume the duck was a decoy.

Quit groaning.