SPLAT by Lorrie Struiff

My good friend and critting partner, Lorrie Struiff has a newly-annointed website. To tempt you to go visit Lorrie, you can first read her story, "SPLAT." Guaranteed to give you multiple chuckles. Remember the name. You'll see more of Lorrie's work for sure.

SPLAT was originally published in The Cynic zine, then went on to be chosen to be reprinted in their “Best Of” edition.

Read the rest of SPLAT here.

"Winnie, skydiving with me is the best twentieth anniversary gift a wonderful wife like you could ever give me," Stan said. He gave me a quick hug before we climbed into the flimsy plane.

My instructor–of five hours had given me the final go-ahead to jump in tandem with my hubby who had already earned his two-star rating.

"Perfect togetherness," Stan called it. A few other names for this insane togetherness crossed my mind, but I refrained from voicing them. I wanted to prove I could be as adventurous as his other friends were, especially Barb, the gal piloting the plane. The one I referred to as 'the Barbie doll with a southern drawl.'

Our plane neared the jump point. The butterflies in my stomach morphed into crazed crickets. Untangling my hands from the wall webbing, I tethered my guide-wire and inched closer to Stan, nearer to the open bay door. I swallowed hard and my ears popped like two giant corn kernels in a microwave. The icy wind smacked my face and froze in my lungs.

The ground, way, way, down there, looked like a patchwork of small lumpy quilt squares. I trembled out of sync with the vibrating deck. My breakfast pushed up into the back of my throat, and I needed to pee.

Lorrie does have a way with comedy.